Hard at work editing chapter 14, thinking yes, it is coming along nicely and emailed it to Joy (editor, mentor, writing coach) for her feedback. Well I fell into the old trap that raises its ugly head sometimes. In my endeavour to prove that yes I can write, I try to make it so correct that it reads like a report and I have taken out all of me. I have done this a few times on different chapters which stems from my own insecurities of ‘how can I think I could possibly be a writer and who would read it anyway.’ It amazes me that no matter how far I have come on my journey all the self doubts are under the surface waiting for the opportunity to undermine anything I attempt to do. The human mind is complex and at times my brain ( I think I have one) takes a lot of coaxing to keep it from going back to how I viewed myself in the past. The funny thing is that until Joy pointed it out I was oblivious to the fact of how I had taken a chapter that needed little in the way of editing and completely annihilated it. On my nine hour flight, which is boarding shortly, I will start re-editing this chapter to show who I am as a person.#doitregardless

Surprisingly, Chapter 14 was quite quick and easy to write.  Now into the editing side of it which always takes me so long as I tend to spend lots of time writing and rewriting a sentence just to get it to reflect what I am trying to say.  I am still managing to spend most days doing something of a physical nature with my book.  After plodding along for such a long period of time, not really knowing where I was headed it is wonderful to have the passion reignited for this project.   Each day I look forward to spending time alone with my words.  I mull over every one and get frustrated when the flow isn’t there.  The joys of being a ‘Writer.’  Has a certain ring to it, don’t you think?#doitregardless

Another one bites the dust.  Chapter 13 finally finished.  Maybe it is the number 13 that hampered the flow in this chapter.  Anyway tomorrow it is time to move forward and start on chapter 14.  One word at a time and I will reach the final goal.#doit regardless.

So far I am managing to honour the commitment I have made to spend some time each day focusing on my book.  Life is busy and in the past I have used this as an excuse but now I grab what time I can.  The other day I had some time between appointments so went to the local shopping centre grabbed myself a healthy lunch (as I am trying to get that area of my life under control also) and sat in the food court for around 40 minutes and edited what I had written previously.  I have found that taking the opportunity with what available time presents itself is paying off.   Still a slow process but progress is progress.#doitregardless

Well at last I have my blog set up thanks to the help from my son-in-law.  It is exciting, scary and all those things and more.  Now my proposed book is a reality.  It has been something I have wanted to do since 1994 and with many stops and starts I have now made the commitment to myself and Joy (A & A Book Publishing) to connect with ‘Why am I so Bad?’ on a daily basis.  It could be just an update on my blog (as I want my friends and people yet unknown to me to support me) or it could be planning chapters, editing, reading over previous work or the actual writing of it which seems to be the hardest to commit to.  It is strange that the one thing I am so passionate about seems to come with so much fear which is why I am my own worst enemy at times.  Trust me it is a big undertaking to expose yourself on the page, to be totally honest and vulnerable but with it comes freedom as there is no place to hide.  My blog is to share my writing journey.  I have currently written around 50,000 words and am presently working on chapter 13 which I have been writing periodically over the last twelve months.  It seems particularly difficult to write as it is dealing with material that I have not really focused on before.  So that’s it for now as I have some serious writing to do.  Please feel free to post comments on my blog so you can be a part of this wonderful journey!#doitregardless